My son has Asperger's Syndrome. As part of his treatment, he sees a therapist once a week. If you're not familiar with Asperger's Syndrome, it is a form of autism, actually on the higher functioning end of the spectrum. One of the largest hurdles these children face is learning acceptable social skills. My son is prone to blurting out WHATEVER he is thinking in front of ANYONE. Over the years, this has resulted in hundreds of "cute" little stories, and the occasional "I want to crawl in a hole and die" moments for me.
Each week begins with my son and I sitting down with the therapist and her asking me, "What have been your concerns this past week? What should we work on today?" My biggest source of frustraton and concern was the constant "whining" and "complaining." She smiled, reached into her bag of toys, and handed my son a bright purple bracelet. She explained to him that she wanted him to accept this challenge. He must wear the bracelet, and each time he complains, he must move the bracelet to his other wrist. This would help him recognize how often he complains, and help him think before he does it. My son's response? Of course, a complaint...."Mom complains too, why doesn't she have to do it?" WHAT?!?
I have to admit, that struck me pretty hard. Of course, my mind reeled back to earlier that day, and the day before that, and the day before that, and I questioned myself: Do I really complain that much? When I really put my mind to it, I realized that I'm pretty sure I do. I do it without even being conscious of the fact that I do it!
So....in the spirit of fairness....I volunteered to take the challenge myself. I put the bright purple bracelet on and headed to work the next day. It didn't match my outfit, wasn't a great professional accessory, but I made a promise and I was going to keep it. You have no idea how many times that day I had to change which wrist that bracelet was on. It was an eye-opening experience to say the least. I had to find something positive to say in place of the complaint. That is sooooo hard to do sometimes.
The purple bracelets are from www.complaintfreeworld.biz. Their message is that "Your thoughts create your world and your words indicate your thoughts. When you eliminate complaining from your life you will enjoy happier relationships, better health and greater prosperity." What a great message!
My therapist told me she took the challenge herself and she only made it 4 days. 4 DAYS! I haven't made it ONE day yet.....but I'm up for the challenge. Are you?
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Lina Robertson Jones
Owner/Agent
RE/MAX Solutions
1715 James River Road
Ozark, MO, 65721 |
Mobile: (417) 844-7265
linarobertson@remax.net
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RE/MAX - Outstanding Agents, Outstanding Results!
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About the author: I am full-time REALTOR® with RE/MAX Solutions in Springfield, MO, and a member of the Greater Springfield Board of REALTORS®. I have helped hundreds of families in the Springfield, Nixa, Republic and Ozark real estate markets, whether buying a home, or selling a home. Visit my website at www.ozarks-realestate.com to search for All Springfield MO Area MLS listings. Want to know what our market is like? My website is also an excellent resource for current Springfield MO Area Real Estate Market Reports, as well as current market reports for Ozark, Nixa, Republic, and Rogersville.
I used to teach and supervise student-teachers. During conversations outside the classroom, each time they'd say "You know?" I'd reply with "Yes, I know" and it just irritated them no end. But it did make them conscious of what they were saying. Inside the classroom, I'd hold up a sheet of paper with a number on it that reflected which occurance of "You Know?" they had just uttered. But I'd never say those words, ya know what I mean?
Lina,
Good luck to you.
I also did this with my children and moved the bracelet sooner than they did! Made me think about all of the times that I open my mouth!
Lorrie - My father use to repeat "Um" and "Uh" every time I said it. It drove me crazy, but it was very effective in breaking my habit.
Sheila - Thanks for the support. Good to know I'm not alone. :)
I know a boy with Asperger's Syndrome. I've known him since he was a baby.
I think I need to buy a couple of bracelets, one for me and one for.... I guess I am up for the challenge Lina, thanks.
Good luck, Maureen. It's much harder than I thought it would be, but I can see where it is well worth it. I also realized that if it is this difficult for me, it must be even more difficult for my son. Have a great day!